


Disney Stories, As Told By The Cast Of Durarara!!

by Kanra_chan



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Asshole!Izaya, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Disney AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, I'm hopeless, M/M, Mermaid!Shizuo, Multiple disney Aus, One Shot Collection, Romance, Sort Of, The little mermaid - Freeform, Voting, and lovers, who are still enemies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 07:52:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanra_chan/pseuds/Kanra_chan
Summary: Disney Stories, As Told By The Cast Of Durarara!! Vote for the stories you want to see! Romance, family themed, even the less popular stories are acceptable! Whatever you guys want, as long as it's Disney. ;)





	Disney Stories, As Told By The Cast Of Durarara!!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chosha_Hoshiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chosha_Hoshiko/gifts).



> I have other stories, I have no self control, I didn't put that much effort into this-blah blah blah you already know all that don't you? I'm unreliable, we all know this. Lets get to the fun stuff!
> 
> A NEW VOTING STORY! But. But. This is better. I put way less thought in this. 
> 
> Hear me out. All you guys gotta do is vote for Disney stories, right? They're oneshots, crack, and there's no minimum, maximum, or end goal. We can just go fucking nuts. I'll explain the rules in my end notes.

“The fuck is this?” Shizuo questions, picking up a foreign object off the ocean floor. It’s long and shiny, fanning out into three little aligned sticks at the end. He wouldn’t know it, but it’s called a fork. His blue tail flicks around his private little cave, full of all the human objects that annoy him.

He’s loathe to admit they fascinate him, somewhat. Mostly he’s just annoyed by humans and the stupid things they create and pollute his water with.

* * *

 

 “Is for combing your hair,” Vorona the seagull informs him calmly.

“Are you sure?” Shizuo asks. Celty swims near Shizuo, looking skeptically up from the water. “I don’t think that’s right.”

“I am sure.”

“Well, what about this?” Shizuo holds up a pipe for Vorona to inspect.

“For music.”

“Huh…”

* * *

 

 “What is _that?”_ It’s a boat Shizuo’s looking at, with drunken humans parading around. One human in particular stands out, accepting the praise around him and boasting about how amazing he is. He has black hair, red eyes, and a smirk that makes Shizuo want to slap him in the face with his tail.

He glances at Celty, and the little black fish looks back at him as if to say, “Wouldn’t you like to be a part of that?”

“Hell no.”

Funnily enough, the ship winds up catching fire, filling his ocean with burnt wood, random objects, and one sailor who apparently can’t swim. Shizuo decides to have mercy.

He regrets this later.

* * *

 

 “Oi! Wake the fuck up!” Shizuo shouts, dragging the dumb human onto land as far as he can get. He perches on the wet sand, and lets the water wash over him. “Hey, smelly! Wake up!”

“Wha…?” The humans groans, blinking red eyes up at him curiously.

“Learn to fucking swim if you’re gonna be in the fucking water, asshole.” He glares, to emphasize his point. “Actually, no, don’t go in the water at all. Stay out of my ocean!” He drags himself back into the sea as another humans appears, Shouting how happy he is to see “Izaya” alive.

That’s his name, huh?

“Tch! Stupid, shitty little… urchin! Annoying piece of shit,” He mutters to himself, swimming back to the comfort of his home deep, deep in the waters. “Don’t drown in my waters, not cause I care, but because I don’t need your ugly ass in my ocean.”

Celty finds him, and swims frantically when he doesn’t stop muttering angrily, swimming in the shape of a question mark over and over again. He’s too angry to pay attention to her, though.

“Fuck, I don’t want to be part of your world,” he seethes, settling down finally. “Stupid little urchin.”

* * *

 

 “That voice!” Izaya is exclaiming to Namie, his royal adviser. “It was so-so...hateful! I have to find that monster again!”

“I don’t care,” she sighs. “For the hundredth time, I do not care, Izaya.”

“I didn’t get a good look,” he continues, partially to be spiteful. “But I’d recognize that voice anywhere.”

* * *

 

 “Hey, Sea Wizard!” Shizuo calls, swimming into a dark and menacing cave. Well, as menacing as it can be, for a disney movie. “You here?”

“Yes indeed,” Shinra the Sea Wizard calls back happily, and his tentacles come into view. Celty and Tom are at his side, both trying to get him to turn around.”What can I do you for?” Celty hides as soon as he’s in view, afraid of the half octopus’s declarations of love, but Tom remains persistent.

“Shizuo, please, you don’t need to go this far!”

“Can you kill someone?” Shizuo asks, ignoring his friends pleas. “A human?”

“Ooh!” Shinra gasps, excited. “You met a human? Let me guess, you’ve fallen madly in love with her? Just like me and my Celty! I bet she has blue eyes, like your tail, right? Oh, how romantic!”

“Him, and his eyes are red.” Shizuo corrects. “And no, I am NOT in love with that urchin. I’d like you to use a spell to kill him.”

“Oh, love really is the best thing, isn’t it?” Of course Shinra would ignore him. He snaps his tentacles and his little eel helpers wrap around Shizuo’s chest. “Oh, I know, I’ll turn you human, so you can be with him!”

“Oi! The fuck!? I want you to murder him, not make me human!”

“Mm I like to fuck shit up,” Shinra sings as he swims around his cave, grabbing and mixing various potions. “Oh yeeees, it’s truuuue! Yes I am totally corrupt, and I do not give a fuck! I like to fuck shit uuuuppp~”

“You suck,” Shizuo growls.

“Only because you hog my Celty all to yourself,” Shinra smiles sinisterly. “Oh, and I’ll be taking your voice, too.”

“Wha-!?” Golden light crawls it’s way up his throat, and with it, takes his voice. _‘This is bullshit!’_ He thinks, gritting his teeth as his tail is split and warped to create human legs in its place. _‘I never agreed to this! Or signed a contract-shit, I can’t breathe!’_

Celty and Tom rush to his aid, then, helping him up to the surface. Shinra calls to Celty, something about missing her and loving her, but he goes ignored.

Alone in his cave, he further plots his revenge.

* * *

 

 “Shizuo, stop it, you can’t survive in the water anymore!” Tom snaps, trying in vain to pull him back.

 _‘I don’t care,’_ he thinks. _‘I’d rather drown that breathe the same air as that urchin!’_

“Well, well, what have we here,” someone purrs. Shizuo turns around, buck naked and struggling with a crab. “A lunatic, perhaps?”

Who knows what Izaya was expecting? A chuckle and an explanation, maybe? For the man to cover himself, or dive in the water? At the very least he’s expecting something sane, and reasonable, like anyone would.

He doesn’t expect the naked blond man to lunge at him and attempt to strangle him.

* * *

 

 “You are so rude,” Izaya is saying to him later. They’d been discovered by a woman before Shizuo could successfully strangle the human. Well, it’s not like she tried to stop him, just kind of stood and watched, actually…

But Shizuo was still naked and didn’t want to flash his new junk at a woman, human or not.

“I have never met someone so uncivilized!” Shizuo glares, wishing he could strangle the man again. He’s clothed, for the first time in his life, in what has got to be the itchiest, tightest, most annoying materiel he’s ever encountered, and this humans bitchiness is not helping his irritation at all.

“Izaya, maybe you should take our guest sightseeing,” Namie suggests calmly. “Do something other than ramble about the merman you supposedly saw.”

“He was a _monster,_ Namie.” Izaya glances at him thoughtfully, smirking back when he gets Shizuo’s best scowl. “But, I suppose that’s not a horrible idea…”

* * *

 

 “Psst, Shizuo. Hey, Shizuo!” Tom calls, catching Shizuo’s attention from the water. He and Izaya are in a boat, in a rather romantic situation, and he’s just biding his time and waiting until they’re far out enough that no one can hear Izaya’s screams.

Of pain. Because of being murdered. Not sexy screams, of course, although Shizuo happened to have some time alone the night before, in a room provided by the icy human woman. Beds were nice.

And human genitals were too. Easier to access at least, and more sensitive. Very, very fun indeed.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind making Izaya scream in other ways, too…

“Seduce him!” Tom insists, as if reading his thoughts. “If you do that, Shinra won’t think you’re after Celty anymore and change your back.” Shizuo shakes his head angrily, and watches with dread when Tom’s eyes move to Izaya.

 _‘Please don’t sing,’_ Shizuo thinks, glaring at the water. Tom hops into the boat and onto Izaya’s shoulder

“There you see him…” Tom croons, and they row further out. “Sitting there across the way. He don’t got a lot to say, but there’s-ack!” Izaya flails, whacking Tom off his shoulder and back into the water.

“Ugh, damn it, I hate those singing crabs,” he hisses, and Shizuo silently laughs.

“That could have been beautiful,” Tom wails in the distance.

* * *

 

 Shizuo tells himself that he only drags Izaya to his room when they get back because he feels bad for Tom. And that his plan was actually a good one. Obviously it has nothing to do with wanting to take his new human dick out for a test drive.

Or how Izaya’s ass looked like the perfect place to test. And his mouth. And his hand, the third time around.

“Mm, I love that you don’t talk,” Izaya’s gasping underneath him, nails scraping up Shizuo’s back as they both arch in pleasure. “It’s-oh, _fuck,_ right there. It’s so hot.”

And his ass again, the fourth time.

The fifth time, however, Shizuo discovers having a human ass and having it plowed by a human dick, is pleasurable too.

* * *

 

 Apparently Tom gets wind that he’s gone through with it, and lets Shinra the Sea Wizard know. Unfortunately, the wizard is insane, convinced that Shizuo wants both Izaya AND Celty. He winds up coming to the surface, disguised as a human and using Shizuo’s voice to lure Izaya in. This works.

“Ugly human!” Shinra calls, in Shizuo’s voice. “I’m here for you.”

“That voice…it’s you!” Izaya rushes to meet him, surprising everyone when he pulls out a knife. “You! Die, you filthy monster!” He chases Shinra back to the sea, who, in a moment of pure terror, releases Shizuo’s voice back to him.

“Hey! Hey, fucking change me back!” He yells, but there’s no reply from the water. Tom gives him the crab equivalent of a thumbs up and leaves him and Izaya on the beach. The human has no idea what’s going on, staring at Shizuo like he’s given up completely.

“Wanna go fuck, or somethin'?” He asks. He's happy to have his voice back.

“You...Yeah, okay, whatever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeey! So, before the rules, I'll level with you. I was gonna do good. I mapped out a plan for For Pities Sake, and I was gonna write a good solid chapter and move the story along, and then get a plan going for Nooses, and work n my current stories and be a good little author. 
> 
> Well. I started my period. I needed chocolate, heat, and comforting movies. Disney movies- The Little Mermaid, to be specific, and the whole time I just couldn't help but picture Shizuo angry and not wanting to be a part of anyones world and it was too glorious to pass up. 
> 
> I've been watching others too and I just need Durarara/Disney fics now. 
> 
> Here's how we're gonna do this. You sweeties, in the comments there, will vote for what Disney movie you'd like to see me destroy. My version will probably be short, crack-tastic, and stupid as hell. The pairings aren't limited to Shizaya, but I'll level with you, I'll do best with Shizaya. Or Shinzaya. Maybe. It also doesn't have to be a romance fic. You can specify who you want the Durarara!! characters to play, even some dialogue you might want. The only thing is, I refuse to write anything about slavery/forced sexual relationships. I doubt we'll run into that problem with Disney, though. 
> 
> Now, here's how the voting works. You comment what you want, and other commenters can vote for that suggestion. Nothing elaborate, lets just say you see a comment with an interesting idea and you like it, you just reply to their comment with something like "I vote for this!" 
> 
> The most votes wins for next chapter. 
> 
> I'll get some suggestions started, BUT, if you like these suggestions, then you need to mention them in your comments for me to do them. 
> 
> 1: Lilo and Stitch Au- Shizuo is, of course, Lilo, and Izaya is the destructive little alien he finds. I refuse to write this one any other way. 
> 
> 2: Emperors New Groove- Any way you want. Shizuo can be emperor, Izaya can be, Shinra, Celty- whatever. If you don't specify, I'll have Izaya be emperor by default. 
> 
> 3: Brother Bear- Shizuo and Kasuka on a beautiful adventure. Or SHizuo and Izaya. Hell, Simon and Dennis. I don't care. Go nuts. 
> 
> THOSE ARE ONLY SUGGESTIONS, you can request whatever. Popular vote wins! <3 I hope everyone participates!


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